Family Crisis

This week in class we have been talking about different stresses that families go through and crises. I have never really thought a lot about this topic before and how it can play into family relations. As I was reflecting back on my childhood and different struggles that my family went through I noticed a pattern in a few of the crises. I realized that the ones that I thought were the hardest, seemed to benefit me the most. I really do appreciate everything that my parents have done for me and the fact that they try to help pull our family through the struggles. I noticed that our family usually gets closer as we go through hard times because we have to rely more on each other for support systems. I really liked today when someone said that crises can be planned and intentional. We can mean to do what we are doing. If we have a plan in mind for something that could possibly happen, it will help us to be more prepared for that crises. For example, some cancers run in my family so when my Grandpa was diagnosed with it, we kind of knew it was coming. It was still a hard trial and definitely something that our family had to deal with, it was better because we were somewhat prepared for this crisis to happen. I also think having a gospel perspective helps so much. If someone dies, it is so devastating but we know that they are in a better place and that we will see them again. It was so inspiring to watch the video in class today about the boy who was born with trisomy 18 and he only lived for 99 days. It brought his parents so much closer together and they realized that they could get through anything. I really am grateful that I grew up in the gospel and that I have the knowledge I do about the plan of salvation and that I know families can be together forever.

Friends, Facebook, and Fidelity

I loved our discussion in class today! We were talking about affair prevention and things that go along with it. One thing I really loved that we talked about was the fact that if something isn't bringing up or edifying your marriage, then you could/should probably cut it out. For instance, talking to someone of the opposite sex is not necessary. Ask yourself, why am I continuing this relationship after I am married? I came to earth to find an eternal companion and I will be spending forever with them. I should be focused on that relationship more than any other relationship I have. I loved when we talked about Facebook and it is crazy to see the statistics of how many divorces come from a married man or woman finding an old high school fling through Facebook. It is so sad to me to see couples being torn apart through social networkings. If anyone is considering combining Facebooks when they get married, I would highly recommend it. My husband and I made a joint account a couple weeks before we got married and we only have friends on there who we both know and I think it has definitely helped our relationship a lot. I don't have to worry about who he might be talking to, because I can see it all. We also share passwords for pretty much everything we have. I think it has definitely helped us to trust one another more and just cut out one huge part of marriage that can drive spouses apart.
I really enjoyed the reading from Brother Gardner this week about the different forms of affairs. I have never really though about a lot of the points he brought up and how the affair can be physical or emotional and attached or detached. It really made a lot of sense to me though and it made me realize that those things that he described such as fantasizing over others is considered an affair as well. If it does not uplift or edify your marriage, cut it out.

Marriage, Love and Weddings!!

Yesterday in class we were talking about things to establish in a marriage and essentials for a wedding. It made me sick when I heard that the national average cost of a wedding was 20,000-30,000! That is literally insane. I think it is kind of sad when people put all of that time and effort into planning their wedding but they don't put any thought into planning their marriage. They don't have clear expectations going into the marriage so its not what they were hoping for or wanting which is extremely sad. My husband and I went over a huge list of questions that his bishop gave us before we even got engaged. They were questions that you would want to know about the person you were dating or engaged to, but you never really wanted to just randomly ask. There were different categories such as spiritual, family, finance, expectations, relationships, and love, intimacy and communication. This really helped us to get an understanding of what the other person was expecting and what their standards and values are. For me, it was just another confirmation that my husband a great man for me to marry :]
In class when we were talking about the essentials for the wedding I was thinking back to my wedding day and what I thought was essential. For me obviously the first thing we planned was the temple sealing. This was the only thing that was crucial. The next important for me was having the people that I loved there. When we got sealed we were surrounded by all the people who loved us and who mattered most. It was the happiest moment of my life! All the other things are fun for sure, but definitely not necessary. It doesn't matter if you have your reception in the church house or if it is in the most expensive resort or hotel. I think for me having a photographer was pretty important. I love pictures and I love looking back at my wedding day and seeing how happy we looked and how everyone was there to support us. Another thing that was really important was the fact that we were prepared to go to the temple. It is such a sacred ceremony and it is something that you will cherish your whole life. It is something you will not want to settle on.

Love is a Beautiful Thing

This week in class we have been talking a lot about what attracts you to someone and different types of love. A list we came up with of things that attracts us to someone was physical attraction, similarities, hobbies/shared activities, backgrounds, values, and religion. When I was dating I was looking for all of these qualities in a potential husband. I wanted someone who had the same beliefs and values as me and who I was attracted to and someone who had some of the same interests as me. I think that if I look back at when I was younger I didn't get my "dream man" I got someone better. Often times I have found that the movie star looking guys can end up being jerks. When I found my husband I knew it was right because we just clicked. We loved hanging out together and going on dates. He always planned fun things that we were both interested in. I am so happy I married someone who has the same values as me because it will make raising children a lot easier if we already agree on a lot of things. Another thing I noticed about my husband while we were dating was his love for children! He was so kind and fun with them and it made me realize that he would be an amazing father. It made me so much more excited to be getting married to him and have the opportunity to raise a family together. I am also extremely happy that we are the same religion. I can't imagine how hard and stressful it would be without the priesthood in my home. I love knowing that if I ever need a blessing or anything, my husband is always there for me. Also it will make raising children a lot easier as well. In class we talked about the difficulties of raising children when the parents are different religions. It would be hard to explain to the children why they need to go to church but their daddy doesn't. I am so grateful that I was blessed with the best husband ever. I am attracted to him in every way!!

This is a picture of my husband playing with my nephew and niece. He was so cute and I could see all of the attributes I wanted in a husband from him playing "store" with them at the park. Seriously the cutest thing ever.

Divine Roles

"Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live."

Today in class we talked about roles of family members. We didn't really specifically talk about a father and mother's role, but roles in general that were played in a family. The quote above is from The Family: A Proclamation to the World, and it describes one of the many roles that parents have in the family. It mainly talks about raising children in righteousness. In class we talked about many different roles of a family such as leadership, protection, provider, peacemaker, caregiver, and teacher. We discussed who played which role in our families. As with everything in marriage, parents should share all responsibilities and be equal partners, but another quote from the proclamation states the main roles designed for mothers and fathers.

"By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children."

Many of the roles we talked about in class war generally shared by both parents or maybe leaning a little toward one parent. But I think that is a key concept that parents need to share responsibilities equally and discuss what is going on in their family by "taking stock". Taking a step back and looking at where the family is at and what they can do better to bring them closer together and to Christ. We were all given talents, which contribute to the roles we will play in our families. These roles were divinely appointed and they are all equally important. Children need to be nurtured just as much as they need to be provided for or protected. No one should feel that they have a less important role than someone else. Families are successful because they all work together playing a role, which in turn will contribute to a bigger picture.

"Of course, it will be harder to get your college degrees or your financial starts with a family, but strength like yours will be undaunted in the face of difficult obstacles. Have your family as the Lord intended. Of course it is expensive, but you will find a way, and besides, it is often those children who grow up with responsibility and hardships who carry on the world and its work." 

- Bruce K. Satterfield

This is a quote from an article called, "The Family Under Siege: The Role of Man and Woman". It really stood out to me especially since my husband and I have been discussing this topic a lot lately. I would recommend this article to anyone! It is amazing and very inspiring. And it makes me want to have a baby! :] I can't wait!

Social Class in America

Tammy's Story Video Link
So for class on Monday, we were assigned to watch videos that showed different social classes and how people felt about the class they were in. It was really sad watching "Tammy's Story" when her son was so embarrassed of his own family. He didn't like bringing people over to their house because he was ashamed of where he lived and his family. Tammy, the mom, walked 10 miles to work everyday to Burger King to try and provide for her family. She said that all she wanted in life was to be happy, but she wasn't because of the way people treated her. Her son on the other hand had one desire, to be a higher social class. He wanted to be considered 'popular and cool' so bad. I think this is such a sad situation where no one is happy. I think one way to improve their situation would be to try and take care of the things they have. Clean themselves up and maybe clean up their trailer and try to get rid of the surrounding trash they have compiled.

After watching this video, it would be discouraging for Tammy to hear from a woman in the video "How to Marry the Rich" that it would take a lifetime to move up social classes. In this video they talked all about how to walk the walk and talk the talk. Upper class apparently know when lower class are intimidated and don't feel up to par. The woman in the video trying to become a higher class said that she didn't like the feeling of being a lower class at a country club. I think that you are where you are in life for a reason. Those who aren't rich and aren't prideful are being blessed from God. They go through different hardships in life such as saving money and trying to make ends meet. Those who are rich have the trial of staying humble and not turning into a prideful snob. I think that there are many people in life who are successful and have nice things and are still great people, but I think that would be a challenge for them. To not focus on the worldly things and material things and try to have a gospel perspective.

I would say I grew up in a middle class family where I was taught to work and I learned to love serving. My parents always taught us gospel principles and tried to raise us righteously. I think that I was very blessed to grow up in the circumstances that I did and with my family. I love them so much and I know that God put us together for a reason. We are all here to help each other out to reach our overall eternal goal of living again with our Heavenly Father. It doesn't matter where we were born, how big or small our house is, if we are famous or a farmer, or how we dress, we are all God's children and brothers and sisters. God loves us all the same, and we should not classify ourselves higher or lower than any other person. We should look at each other through God's eyes as equals and not judge. This assignment was very eye opening for me and definitely made me appreciate my life and circumstances so much more.